: Go to dinner and a movie Mock those less fortunate than us Argue, yell and possibly even fight Fuck. Try to cripple children Go to a gentlemen’s club and try and pick up a stripper Get absolutely shit-housed, fucked-in-half, retarded drunk Go to a gun range Get absolutely shit-housed, fucked-in-half, retarded drunk and go to a gun range with a stripper we picked up at a gentlemen’s club (…my personal choice) Felch each other (…decidedly not my choice) All of the above None of the above Some strange combination of the above “Will you cook my dinner for me?My parents aren’t around and I’m not allowed to turn on the stove.” What type of food will we eat, assuming we go to dinner?“Daddy, I’m scared, too scared to even wet my pants.” What should I wear?
: Whenever When you are available Hey, we’re on my schedule here, Date Boy When your heart stops As soon as I finish gnawing off my left leg When I get over my herpes and pink eye After I suck off a Great Dane How about never? “This is my sandbox, but I’m not allowed to go in the deep end.” How would you rate yourself in terms of your physical attractiveness? ” How would you rate yourself in terms of your intelligence? That’s unpossible.” How would you rate yourself in terms of your emotional maturity and stability? : smile drool start jumping up and down yelling “UH, UH, UH” pretend you’re not Tucker Max feign epilepsy vomit uncontrollably curse the anonymity of the Internet run like a track star run like a crack fiend “I can’t breathe good and it’s making me sleepy.” What will my friends say when they see you? I wish I was him.” “Another tall, hot blonde with no self-esteem–he’s getting laid tonight.” “She’s the hottest thing since nuclear fusion.” “Tonight’s forecast calls for scattered clothes, with a significant chance of intense, passionate humping.” “My Lord–she smells like the fish market.” “Well, she’s too ugly for him to date…$10 says he sleeps with her anyway.” “I wouldn’t call her fat, but he’s gonna need the Jaws of Life to get out of this.” “Oh shit…somebody call 911.” “She’s just an expensive escort.
: I’m not very attractive I’m cute I’m cute enough for you, assface I’m hot If you like morbidly obese, cross-eyed fat girls, you’ll LOVE me I’m a butter face I’m a Chicago girl (it means you have a hot face and a fat ass…and don’t email me pissed about this. : I can read enough to answer this I’m average I’m smart enough to get your stupid jokes I’m a fucking genius I can bend things with my mind I’m dumber than week-old bat shit Who are you to question the intelligence of anyone else? I like to use lots of exclamation points in my emails!!!! : I’m about average I’m pretty sane, but have some minor insecurities and peculiarities, just like everyone I’m very emotionally stable I am a rock I’m loonier than a shit-house rat I claw at my eyes, trying to get the demons out The doctor says he can’t increase my prescriptions anymore or he’d get in trouble Sometimes, the restraints chafe my wrists. I wonder how much money she cost him.” “She’s just a cheap hooker.
I also recently created the first pay-per-character publishing platform, Bitcoin Megaphone.
Your name: Your email: Your age: Your sex: Female (This is non-negotiable. D./MD/DMD I go to the Vo-Tech, climb under a car, and sleep all day Jay Truck Driving School what’s edumacation? Your pheromones are too sexy to cover up I don’t like myself, and I’m hoping you’ll treat me like a used-up stripper Everything “You’re deceptive.” When would you like to go out with me? ) The kids at school used to call out “Baaaby Ruuth” when I would walk by No, really, I don’t think you understand: I am UG-LY “Daddy says I’m ‘this close’ to living in the yard! : Cheap flowers Expensive champagne Your A game I like shiny things A unquenchable libido Astroglide A shoehorn Amniotic dysentery A small, hairless Asian boy Your enema bag collection “And I want a bike and a monkey and a friend for the monkey.” What will I do when I see you?
✅ If we are dealing with underage children, the parent(s) could have a face to face meeting with the applicant to establish a relationship and some rules to be followed.
✅ If all parties are adults, decide if it is ok to start dating the applicant.Welcome to my website and personal playground, where I've been publishing thoughts and random creations since the late 90s.These days I work at Hearst Digital Media in New York City.If your application is rejected, two gentlemen with violin cases and "one-size-fits-all" cement shoes will notify you.✅ It allows concerned parents and friends to gather enough information about someone before an actual date or meet-up occurs. You seem interesting I think you’d be fun to get drunk with I want to end up in one of your stories or future books I feel strangely attracted to you I hate myself I’m one of those people who can’t divert their eyes from accident scenes, and you have that same effect on me I think your caustic and sarcastic exterior belies a sweet and caring inner self I want to give my VD to someone else before I die No, really, I enjoy having guys use me and treat me like shit “Which one is oral?