There is truth to the fact that new couples tend to have more sex, and we have science to thank for that.New couples can go through a phase called limerence, which can last from 18 months to up to 2 years, according to Sari Cooper, Certified Sex Therapist and Director of Center for Love and Sex.
Cooper said that long-term couples who aren't having sex as frequently may be relying on that spark from the beginning of their relationship to get things going, when actually, it takes a little more work and careful planning.
"When a couple passes the two year mark, the challenge is not to depend on spontaneous desire to drive a sexual connection," she said.
"Although more frequent sex is associated with greater happiness, this link was no longer significant at a frequency of more than once a week," lead researcher Amy Muise said.
"Our findings suggest that it's important to maintain an intimate connection with your partner, but you don't need to have sex everyday as long as you're maintaining that connection." And that study is consistent with another one performed at Carnegie Mellon University, which prompted couples to have sex more often that they normally do.
There is absolutely nothing like a new relationship.
You are totally psyched about dating this cool person, they're exciting and attractive, which probably means you're having a lot of sex. Once you've been dating them for a while though, things can have a tendency to cool off.
Between house work, careers, and possibly raising little ones, sex can require a little bit of compromise and even some negotiation skills, Cooper told INSIDER.
"Many married couples have increased responsibilities that may include child-rearing, jobs, more financial debt that can cause them to feel more stress and perhaps to work longer hours," she said.
Seriously, Google "how often is it normal to have sex" and you will find a treasure trove of message boards, articles, and frantic pleas for answers.
And the answer can depend on a lot of things, from your age to your sex drive to your partner's sex drive to the weather — ever notice how there's always so many babies being born nine months after a blizzard?
"Depending on each partner's intrinsic desire, I coach these partners to negotiate a number that is in the middle of their desire for sexual connection, whether it's a desire for emotional closeness or an erotic experience.