Counselors who specialize in working with special needs families can give parents all kinds of helpful information — whether it be references for additional help, connection with other families of special needs children, or play dates and groups to help children (and parents! Those resources found in local groups, counselors, and educators pay off in dividends by helping parents build a powerhouse of support and information that can take the strain off the marriage, and it'll give you the feeling that you have to do everything yourself.4.Stick together and be willing to change your goals For many parents of special needs children, there is sometimes an initial feeling of loss — loss of the life they thought their child would have, loss of the dreams they had for themselves (even if being an NFL quarterback was a bit of a shot in the dark).This is the first post in a new series called What It’s Like.
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While it may seem that’s all you have to give at the end of the day, it’s pretty critical that you make an effort to spend some quality time with your spouse each week.
Pick a weekly date night and stay at home and watch a movie (chick flick or not) after the kids’ bedtime, or go out for a quiet dinner where you can actually eat delicious food in peace.
It's going to be hard, but WORTH every minute.
Whether you’re married or not, you’ve probably heard the dismal stats on the rate of divorce — 50 percent is a big figure.
In reality, these children will go on to lead awesome and meaningful lives, so don’t let the stress or fear of the unknown tear apart the marriage you’ve invested in.
Take the time to pull yourselves together and recognize that you and your spouse are getting to watch a new picture form before your very eyes. Your child needs the support of both parents working together to reach his/her potential and be truly happy.
Only half of us married folks, statistically, will go the distance. C., a family and couples therapist whose own son was diagnosed 16 years ago with Asperger’s, tells us that “it doesn’t have to be this way!
And you, like the majority of people, have probably personally witnessed the break ups of couples you thought would make it through anything. According to University of Wisconsin at Madison researchers, couples with an autistic or special needs child are TWICE as likely to end their marriage in divorce than one without a child with disabilities. I knew that this (diagnosis) was not something that had to be detrimental to a family; it is simply finding a new normal.”All marriages, no matter their situation, can have that rock solid foundation.
Additionally, for some insight into what it’s like to date and be married to someone on the spectrum, check out Jeffrey Deutsch’s informative posts on relationships.
Another interesting post was written by Sam, who dated someone with Asperger’s. When he was younger, I’m sure that getting a babysitter would have been a big challenge, but right now it’s not really much of a challenge to me, and I don’t mind it.
Being able to confide in your spouse about the crappy day at work or the viral cat video your kid watched 50 times and loved changes the entire dynamic of your relationship and is a great example for your child.