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And, as Pina points out, “Eventually, you’re going to marry someone you’re dating.” Don’t get into what she calls “panic mode” by dating the wrong people over and over and then marrying whomever you’re dating when you’re ready to have children.

“You have to get away from the emails and texts to an actual meeting,” says Pina. It’s important not to waste months or even years on someone who’s not going to materialize into a commitment.” And once you finally go on that date, what do you talk about?

Don’t worry, the answer to that question is actually really easy: “What you’re passionate about,” says Pina.

“It really works better for women when they’re the initiator. “Sending an email is not going to show you’re aggressive,” says Pina. Throw it out there and know not to take it personally if he doesn’t respond. If not, it’s not about me.’ Joining an online site and exchanging messages with potential suitors may seem like the last to-do, but it’s really just the beginning.

Shy girls sometimes sign up for dating sites, and find someone they click with, but then never take the dates offline.

Being able to define who you are, where your values lie, and what sort of man you “When I was a matchmaker, I found that [my clients] just wanted to talk about dates, not why they were attracting the wrong type of person in the first place,” says Pina.

Women without a strong sense of self, or those who haven’t taken the time to stop and think about what they’re looking for in a husband besides “the perfect guy,” will repeatedly date people who aren’t even close to a good match for them.

Then they hit their forties and they’re not married.” Pina explains that many people face a dating dilemma once they graduate from college and are no longer surrounded by their peers.

They enter the workplace and fall into a pattern that makes it difficult to meet new people.

It also helps alleviate some of that shyness you might have in a [traditional] social setting.” Then set up casual coffee dates with people you like.

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