Hi Sis Noe I am a 44-year-old single, healthy and adventurous woman. As you continue to heal, your sense of safety with sexual partners will improve, but in the meantime you may simply need that element of control.At 16 I was raped, I enjoy sex very much but cannot relax enough to allow a sexual partner to give me an orgasm. The next step could be to ask a patient, trusted partner to participate while you self-pleasure, in a way that is comfortable for you, such as caressing your breasts.You will simply have to decide what you are personally comfortable with.
Or, deep down, you are still missing your previous love and want to try to fast-track into a similar situation?
Perhaps you have been so hurt that you are trying to prove to yourself that you can get back in the saddle — and imagine that will be healing?
I know you long for a deep connection again, but unless you are truly ready emotionally to handle spontaneous sex that is unattached to loving feelings I would suggest waiting a bit.
Use your intuition; you will know when the timing is right.
We must all take responsibility for our own pleasure, show our partners how to give it to us, and not expect them to mind-read.
Hi Sis Noe I am a 43-year-old single mother with two children.
In general, becoming intimate early on is not necessarily going to sabotage the development of a longer relationship — unless it goes badly wrong. Hi Sis Noe I have suffered from premature ejaculation throughout my adult life.
I have found out that my son is now seeking information about the condition through various websites.
If you experience anxiety or intrusive images, stop and ask him to hold you until you are relaxed, then try again.
When you achieve orgasm this way, move to the next stage: ask him to place his hand over yours while you pleasure yourself.
It is also worth examining your motives before you quickly become intimate with a virtual stranger.