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When he tells university girls that he is from Kenya, many of them just remark, ‘Is that in Africa? When they learn that Joshua isn’t from the states, they quickly lose interest.

Once, his Tanzanian friend told him, ‘Hey, I’m meeting this girl and I’ve told her I’m from the US.

One of the things he likes about her is that she doesn’t ask dangerous, leading questions such as ‘Who is this girl in your photo?

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Both wanted to live in the other’s country, so Andre came up with a very practical solution: ‘Why don’t we get married? She could live in the States with him for a while, and after, he would live in Japan with her. Oddly enough, an opportunity to go to Japan came up in 2005.

The Japanese girl was surprised but accepted the offer. However, the more time they spent together, the more they realised that they didn’t have much in common. Japan is a relatively well-off country, so a Japanese woman won’t usually marry a western man for a better life.

‘I should’ve known better because I met her in a bar,’ James says. Joshua, a Kenyan man, has mixed experiences of dating in Japan.

He sometimes feels that being an African can be a disadvantage. In a club, he often meets girls who are specifically interested in African-Americans.

Andre’s case was misfortunate because he had a particularly direct communication style and his ex-girlfriend had a particularly indirect communication style. When Charles, a British guy, met her, he immediately liked her. A few days later, Charles sent her a message: ‘Hey, let’s go out again sometime.’ To this, she politely replied, ‘No thanks.’ Her lack of interest wasn’t the only problem. Some of these restaurants are managed by Japanese-Indian couples.

James is a British man who is said to have slept with more than 100 Japanese women. She was a rock musician but she dressed very nicely. Charles didn’t speak much Japanese, and she didn’t speak any English at all. (I know this because the Japanese wives tend to be very friendly and often talk to me.) Danuja, a Sri Lankan man who has lived in Japan for 11 years, had two long-term relationships with Japanese girls prior to his current Japanese girlfriend. They became friends first and it took six months for them to start dating.So don’t tell her I’m from Tanzania.’ According to Joshua, a lot of African men pretend to be American so that they can get girls.Despite that, Joshua has dated several Japanese girls. ’ Andre, the Jamaican man, once received a text from a Japanese girl he had met a couple of days earlier.In Japan, people tend to rely on non-verbal cues more than the literal meaning of messages. There’s nothing wrong with short-term dating and hook-ups.These non-verbal cues are not obvious to everybody. The problems here are the differences in expectation and the dishonesty. Do Japanese women date Indian and other South Asian guys? The easiest way to confirm this is to visit Indian restaurants in Japan.Compared to the Russian women he dated, Frank finds her very accommodating.


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