Seth Meyers is back and blogging about an issue plaguing many women.Here are his thoughts about unavailable men — specifically how to spot them AND stop dating them!Imagine that you’re going to take your letter and read it aloud to each one of them. Confess to Your Friends and Family • In 12-step groups, the first step is always admitting that you have a problem.
One of the most common problems that plagues romantic relationships is the tendency to repeat the same negative patterns over and over again.
In fact, one of the most common patterns women repeat is falling for emotionally unavailable men, a pattern I call “emotional chasing.” Please understand, however, that the chasing isn’t literal.
What are the different ways that each of you offers emotional support to each other?
Conclusion: Falling for unavailable men is a pattern that afflicts many women, so don’t feel that you’re alone or destined to repeat dysfunctional relationships forever.
Interview a few happy couples and ask them the following questions: What first drew you to each other?
What do you believe are the qualities that make for a successful relationship?
• What do you believe the purpose of a romantic relationship is?
• What lessons have you learned so far from your past relationships?
Characteristics of the Emotional Chaser: If you repeat the pattern of emotional chasing, it means that…
• You tend to fall for men who ultimately won’t commit and settle down or who will cheat on you • You are usually more emotionally committed to the relationship than your partner is • You feel like your partner has all the control and power in the relationship • You often feel less worthy than your partner, as if your partner were more interesting or desirable than you are • You believe you have to work hard to keep him interested because you’re afraid he will otherwise leave and find someone else • You try to shape yourself into being what you think your partner wants If this is a pattern you repeat, there’s both help and hope ahead for you.
• What is the trait that you look for most when you meet a man?